his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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