it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We left an ass print on the piano.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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