Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
