I'm gonna have a badass scar
Where is the hickey?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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