so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
