Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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