Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
