I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
