I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
