there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
