I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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