I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
