After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
