I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
