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• (303): View more from Colorado

  GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  I respect that

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• (310): View more from California

  If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.

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• (716): View more from New York

  There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...

  (434): View more from Virginia

  I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  Almost an end to the saga.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I ate cake in bed. Felt great

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?

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