A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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