I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
