some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
