i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
