I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
