Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
