hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
