He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She bit a glass in half.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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