It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
