): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
