the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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