Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
the day after is always just damage control
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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