I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
two words...techno handjob
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
