She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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