you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
