I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Pants 0. Shit 1.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Success! We fucked roommates!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
