The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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