I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
