why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
