woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
