Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
