Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
