Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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