I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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