I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
