and you said cock pushups were impossible
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
