the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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