There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
