So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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