Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
