One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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