I puked a lego.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
