we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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