C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
