Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
